An exclusive interview
Groaningsea Gazette Editor, Reporter and Coffee Boy.
Sales of the Groaningsea Gazette have almost doubled since Groaningsea’s premier crime correspondent, Ambrose Pimple, uncovered the mob in our mist! Residents were so shocked at the threat to their beloved seaside town that they have joined forces against crime with the Groaningsea Gazette. The local people have banded together to form RAT – residents against terror. The chairlady is Mrs Croak. In an exclusive interview by Ambrose Pimple, Mrs Croak warns criminals:
“The residents of Groaningsea are respectable folks. We will not put up with the underworld trying to spoil our beautiful town. My teenage son, Elvis, known to his mates as The Toad, will be on watch during the early evening. Anyone caught doing anything, anything whatsoever, will be done. Us Croaks don’t take to criminals, especially ones as we don’t know.”
Further action has been taken by the local librarians who also represent R.A.T. They are closeting their umbrellas under the returns desk. Anyone stepping out of line will feel the force of Mrs Chalk’s umbrella, be stamped on the forehead and get a fine.
We want local residents to rest assured that they can count upon the Groaningsea Gazette to join forces with R.A.T. in the fight against crime. Top crime correspondent, Ambrose Pimple will be available anytime and anywhere – that is Monday –Friday (9a.m. to 5p.m. within the Groaningsea area.
Anyone with any information or in danger please ring:
Ambrose on Groaningsea 666.